A funny thing happened at church last Sunday. We had a guest minister who was speaking about our fears and worries and how they limit us. She referenced Parker Palmer's story in The Active Life about going on an Outward Bound trip. When he was rappelling down a cliff, he got in a bit of a fix. The instructor told him it was time to learn the Outward Bound motto: When you can't get out of it, get into it! The minister continue by sharing the fears she had as she approached a pilgrimage in the Himalayas.
All of a sudden a women in the pew in front of me screamed out, "Oh, my God!" and pulled her feet up under her. She looked terrified and pointed to the floor. The woman next to her pulled her feet up. I picked up my handbag off the floor and put my sandaled feet on the hymnal rack. I was sure it was a mouse because the first woman was so frightened. My friend to my right said, "Is it a snake?" Just then an enormous roach, probably a Palmetto bug, skuttled under our pew on his way to the back of the sanctuary. A woman behind us said, "I hate roaches!" The minister, of course, had to stop for a few moments until things settled back down. Being good Unitarian Universalists, no one killed the roach because we believe in the interdependent web of all existence.
Ever since then i have been struck by the fact that each of us presumed the frightening thing was what we fear most; a roach, mouse, spider or snake. Isn't that just like us? We approach situations and relationships fearing the one thing that scares us the most and forget that others are frightened by different things. We miss the possibilities because we are so focused on our fear. I teased the minister at the end of the service, "You didn't plant that bug, did you?"
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3 comments:
Kathleen--
I love your blog. Thank you for sharing it. I, too, have been thinking about the roach on the floor incident. I'm frequently surprised at the things that frighten other people, and they would probably be surprised at my fears. In fact, the idea of how fears and the ways we face them or succumb to them shapes our lives is something I've been writing about, thinking that it's a way to frame my epiphany thoughts. I'm currently with my mother in Texas, and I'm increasingly conscious of how fear of failure has actually ruled her entire life, and that her own fears have never been taken out and examined and confronted. Funny that a palmetto bug could initiate such profundity!
Marsha,
thanks. for reading the blog and commenting. i look forward to hearing what you have to say about our fears and how they shape [or contain!] our lives. these visits with your mother seem to continue to offer you new frames of reference. at the last spiritual journey class i read about fear of failure as one of the grand themes of my life, so it is of interest to me what you have said about your mother.
Thank you Kathleen for the new blog. I am so glad you wrote about our bug incident. I was happy to share it with you and Marsh and thought of it all last week. As I recanted this tale to my husband he asked, "Did anyone kill it?" and as he read the question in my face "Why would we do that?" and said, rolling his eyes at us Unitarians, "Of course not!"
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