Love and loss

In less than forty-eight hours, two magnificent friends left this earth. Enormous holes appear in my world. The grief and loss tugs at my core, heavy and cruel. I cannot eat. In forty-eight hours from now my precious daughter-in-law goes into surgery for the removal of her breasts. She turns 34 tomorrow. My heart is full of love for these three people and all those who love them. Life feels especially fragile, like a porcelain plate balancing on a tight robe in the wind above a city street. Every greening bush, flowering cherry tree, swaying daffodil sings to me, "life, life, live it today." 

Flora was ninety years old, struggling at the loss of mobility and increasing pain. We shared thirty-six years of loving friendship that began when we were hired to support the secondary Gifted and Talented program for the public schools in Charlotte. She was fifty-four, mother of three adult children, a seasoned professional educator. I was twenty-six, newly married and full of opinions and creative ideas.  We gave each other respectful space that turned into unconditional love and support. Her wisdom and care sustained me all of my adult life.

Tim was not yet sixty, a gifted musician and creator of community. As I write, I listen to his songs and yearn for the cd that is ready to be printed thanks to his valiant last efforts just a couple of weeks ago before his strength gave out. His years' long struggle with cancers and chemo, trials and trauma will continue to inspire me.  The songs he left give us the gift of his unique voice and wisdom words to hold us in the days ahead. His life gives us courage and strength for our own.

My beautiful daughter-in-love shows a strong love of life as she approaches surgery. Her resolve and acceptance of the reality ahead sustains those of us who surround her. Her commitment to a long, healthy life starting immediately after the surgery informs everything she does. She is calm and reassuring,  keeps a positive outlook, and maintains her focus on the future because her heart is grateful.

The lives of these three teachers invite me to give more of myself, to bring my gifts forward, not to be afraid, to live from my heart with love and gratitude, every day.